I am blessed. Most people are lucky if they leave this earth with a handful of friends who they can trust. I’ve been blessed with three best friends in my life thus far.
Sadly, I lost one of my best friends about ten years ago. I think about my friend everyday, the happy and sad memories will always remain with me. I think about the late night Mickey D runs, staying up until six in the morning waxing poetic, a huge argument in front of the Kavorkian Center at NYU, crying, laughing, gossiping, sharing daydreams, studying together and comforting each other.
My two best friends are my sister and my childhood friend Kris. Throughout my life both challenge me to be a better human being. It wasn’t always easy to hear their opinions or have to admit that I was wrong about the way I was handling myself. I like to think that I have done the similar thing for them as well. Our relationship has evolved through the years, there were times when I was not able to share my life with them, but they were always there. When I was ready, they were willing to listen and help in whatever way they can.
Recently I lost two friendships. These relationships were cut abruptly, leaving me feeling confused and sad. But I’ve learned in my life that when certain people exit, the universe has a way of filling that void with a new energy, a new person will come and teach you something different. It is a difficult process to go through (believe me, I’m not one who adjusts well to change). It reminds me that life and the space that I live in is always a delta, it is never constant, whether I like it or not.
As a doctor, I see the real vulnerability of human beings daily. The investment banker with the macho exterior becomes transformed into a child when he needs surgery. The beautiful model tells me how exhausting it is to have to binge and purge. The Upper East Side Stepford wife breaks down in my office. How does this translate into my personal life? I don’t like facades. I have to get to the real person in my profession on a daily basis, it’s exhausting to do 24/7.
My mom always taught me to try and take the good things from every human being. I have tried to follow her advice. This is something difficult to do when you have been hurt by someone. I am learning that not everyone knows themselves well. There are people in this world who live an unexamined life. They repeat unhealthy patterns everyday not realizing that they are hurting themselves and others around them. It is challenging for these people to see a colorful world when all they know is black and white. Even these people carry goodness and can teach you something.
I am, above anything else, a mere human being. I have layers: a doctor, a yuppie, a city slicker, a business owner. But I am a mere human being. I can only change myself and perhaps inspire others to improve themselves. This is what my best friends have done for me. They inspire me to look at myself and strip me to my core. They are able to provide comfort for me when I am feeling most vulnerable. They are remarkable because they are constant but also part of the delta.
