Every now and then I have this dream, it’s always the same theme. I’m either in high school or medical school and there’s some test that I’m supposed to be taking but I’m about one hour late.
I was a combination of a type A personality and a rebel in high school. The way this would work was that I would cram in as many classes as possible into my schedule but not go to class. For example, I convinced my guidance counselor and principal to allow me to alternate a computer class with gym on even days and alternate orchestra with Spanish class on odd days. Most days no one knew where I was supposed to be, so I would take advantage of this and not go to class. Somehow I would manage to learn everything I needed to learn but every now and then I would find out about a surprise quiz I had missed.
When I dream about high school, I’m always looking for my No. 2 pencils and I have an anxiety attack because I only have No. 1 pencils. I run around asking my classmates whether we have a test in Spanish. Everyone else seems calm and relaxed. I’m the only one who is running around with No. 1 pencils and no idea what test I’m supposed to be taking. I also dream about sitting in my high school gym with hundreds of other kids from Long Island taking that infamous S.A.T. Ugh. I did pretty well on the S.A.T. (won’t tell you my score) but it was a source of great anxiety back then. So in my dream I’m always taking the verbal part of the S.A.T. and I look at the paper and I don’t know ANY of the words. NONE.
Interestingly enough, my dreams never focus on college. I’m not sure why. Perhaps it was the first time I was able to choose classes that I wanted to take. Well, except for physics, organic chemistry, and lab. But other than that, I was able to take classes of my own choosing. Orgo lab was really a nightmare (I almost burned down the lab once). Maybe that’s why my brain isn’t able to “dream” about it at all.
When I’m in medical school (in my dreams), I’m always taking some kind of fill-in-the-bubble test. I’m in the process of filling in the bubbles and a buzzer rings and suddenly I realize that I’ve filled in all the wrong bubbles.
Throughout the different stages of school, I trained myself to take tests. Since I was a professional student for so long, taking tests became second nature. Learning is perpetual in medicine, but the only bubbles I’ll fill in now is every ten years, for board recertification. I’m so glad that I don’t have to take tests anymore on a weekly basis. It’s funny how life works though. Back then, I was preoccupied with taking tests on paper and now…life tests me on a daily basis. I think taking tests on paper is much much easier. No one ever hands you a No. 2 pencil in life and gives you four choices to pick. It’d be so much easier if it worked that way. But not as interesting.
