Daily Archives: July 14, 2008

Jul14

“Most Musical”

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“Most Musical”

I was voted “Most Musical” in my senior year of high school. Even back then, my soul knew that I was on a path to becoming a physician. The left side of my brain knew this, but the right side of my brain had other ideas. The right side of the human brain is dominant for spatial abilities, face recognition, visual imagery and music. The left side of the brain is dominant for math and logical abilities.

My love for music started when I was eight. In elementary school, we were all given a flutophone (some may call it a recorder). I fell in love with my plastic instrument. I played it everywhere. In the car, in the bathroom, in my bed, while I was watching TV. It was the first thing I wanted to do when I woke up. It was no mere infatuation. Mr. Hoffman was my music teacher in school at that time. Nobody else liked him because he was a strict teacher who made sure that we all practiced our flutophone. The kids hated him and would say horrible things about him behind his back. I loved Mr. Hoffman. He realized how much I loved music and also took a special liking to me. Needless to say, there was never a time when I was disciplined in music class. I was a music dweeb.

One day, I got on the school bus to go to school. I had my flutophone in one hand and an umbrella in the other. It was raining cats and dogs. I sat in my usual seat on the bus and listened to the incessant clamor from the other kids. On that particular day, I heard something awful. Mr. Hoffman had died. A kid in my class said that he had a heart attack. Some of the kids were cheering and said that they were glad that he was dead. I felt terrible and started weeping. I remember thinking that the rain that was falling was a sign of sadness that Mr. Hoffman was no longer alive. I wondered what was going to happen with my flutophone lessons.

For the rest of the year, music class no longer existed. As a tribute to Mr. Hoffman, I continued practicing my flutophone. I had decided that when the time came, I would choose the flute. It was the closest thing to the flutophone. But when the time came (the fourth grade) I was suffering bouts of childhood asthma. My mom decided that it was best not to play a wind instrument and I chose the violin instead. I also started taking private lessons for piano.

Even though I had two new instruments, I still played my flutophone. One day, on my way back home from the school bus, I saw my mother waiting by the door. As I walked up the stairs she said, “Don’t get upset. Something happened.” She slowly started telling me that my four year old sister (who had the chickenpox) started playing my flutophone. My obsessive-compulsive/germaphobic mother brilliantly decided that she was going to eradicate the nasty germs by boilng my plastic flutophone in water. My beloved flutophone had melted. Even back then, the left side of my brain asked her, “Why didn’t you just dip it in bleach?” That was the physician talking. The right side of my brain was livid. She killed my flutophone. I never quite forgave her (I’ll get over it someday), but I invested my energy into the violin and piano instead. Thus I was dubbed “Most Musical”. Without the flutophone none of it would have happened.

Even to this day, I still search the internet for that flutophone. I might just get it.

Jul14

Introspection and Evolution

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Introspection and Evolution


Introspection, what is it? It’s the ability and willingness to learn about ourselves, our higher purpose and our nature. I’ve always wondered since it takes so many years for evolution to take place, what are the microevolutionary processes that manifest? For human beings or Homo sapiens, I believe that the ability to self-reflect (i.e. to have introspection) is one of those processes. Afterall, this is what distinguishes our species from other Homo species, like Homo neanderthalensis (The Neanderthal). Of course, you have to believe in the evolutionary process to subscribe to this hypothesis, and by the power of Charles Darwin, I do. In fact, evolution itself is divided into macroevolution and microevolution. What distinguishes one from the other? Time. The macro processes are what affect a species at large, the micro processes affect the individual species for a shorter length of time.

For those of us who have less ability for introspection, it manifests as repetitive patterns, making the same mistakes, taking that same traveled road. It plays out as fear of the unknown and making choices in haste without really thinking things through. Hmmmm, you’re wondering…how does this affect our species? Well, remember the whole concept of survival of the fittest. The fittest species survive and pass on their genes to their offspring. Individuals with more advantageous traits are more likely to pass these traits on to the next generation. Individuals who are not healthy are more likely to have defective offspring. Self-reflection is definitely an advantaegous trait.

It can arguably be stated, that without introspection, we would not have fire, the wheel, electricity, and a whole plethora of modern day conveniences. Machines are built on the concept of how the human body functions. How can one build a machine without introspection? Our world would not have evolved to what it is today without introspection. Scientists, writers, inventors, mathematicians, physicists and physicians would not exist.

I can start a soliloquy on genotypes and phenotypes, I can bore you about alleles and a rant on the Hardy-Weinberg principle. I prefer a macroscopic approach to this topic. It’s understandable and not so boring. Frankly, I don’t believe that human beings were created in the image of God. This subscription satisfies the human ego, but doesn’t explain the existence and disappearance of other species. Certainly a species created under the image of God wouldn’t have created wars, human suffering and would be impermeable to disease. However, we are an unique species. Our curiosity makes us dig the earth for answers to what happened in the past. As a species-at-large, we comprehend that those who do not understand history are condemned to repeat it. If this doesn’t spell introspection, I don’t know what does.

I believe the ability to self-reflect is a combination of both nature and nurture. A child certainly learns that if he cries, his mother will pick him up. If his mother does not pick him up after some time, the child will soon learn that his crying is no longer effective. Without an innate ability to introspect, he would not be able to learn this. But as we grow older, our ability to introspect also comes from our surroundings. If we surround ourselves with people who do not challenge us, we lessen our ability to learn from people who have depth and carry real substance. When we make mistakes, if we don’t take the time to sit and reflect on how to improve ourselves, those mistakes will inevitably become an integral part of who we are. We might possess other positive qualities, but our personalities will be associated with the negative attributes.

Sometimes it’s hard to be around people who are smarter, more athletic, more attractive, funnier, or more successful. Who wants to be around someone that reminds us what we are not? I do. I like to absorb from others who possess qualities that I do not. The desire to improve ourselves is all part of microevolution. Failure can always be a possibility, but the rewards gained from accepting the challenge far outweigh anything else.