Dr. Mandal

I think up until I started my own practice, what I did before was just a mere job. I had to get up at a certain time, be at work at a certain time, see X amount of patients a day and do Y amount of administrative work. Now it’s all different.  Oh sure, I still have to get up at a certain time and see patients and do administrative work, but no one else is making me do it. I’m choosing to do it myself.

Right now I’m reading Feeling Strong by Ethel Person, M.D. She describes interpersonal vs. personal power. It’s fascinating. I’m learning how the desire for power drives so many things that we do. For example, when we’re down and feeling blue, we feel powerless. Through different stages of our life, we accumulate power. I felt somewhat powerless in my previous jobs. Even though I work much harder now, I feel more powerful. Sure, I still have to deal with insurance company hassles and the tribulations that come with taking care of patients. But now I have the power to say what I want to do, when I want it done and how I want that to take place. Before I had to answer to someone else’s what, when and how. That spelled a diminution of power in my life. This also influenced how I viewed my career and role as a physician. I felt less empowered to take care of my patients and this impacted my morale.

Instead of faulting myself for not fitting into the system, I realized that I had to define a whole new system for myself. I got some great ideas from the Ideal Micropractices listserv. I still continue to communicate with physicians spread all through the country about how they run their businesses. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my career, but well worth the risk.

Now when I wake up, it’s not a drag to go to my office. See how I don’t say “go to work” or “go to my job”? That’s because I don’t see it in that realm anymore. I could swear I saw a rainbow cross from the Flatiron Building right into my building this morning. It’s not a job anymore. It’s what I do.