For most of my life I’ve always been taking care of people. It’s one of the reasons that led me to become a physician. Along the way I accumulated friends and relationships where I was taking care of the other person but not necessarily receiving anything back. It took me a really long time to realize this and even a longer time to implement the necessary changes in my life. Right out of medical school, I looked around and realized that I had people around me that were sucking me dry. I felt depleted. Even though I know I may have hurt some people, it was necessary for me to shed those relationships in order to become a better person. In fact, I even remember telling one of these people that the reason why I was ending our friendship was because I was not the best person that I could be around them. Even at that time, it was hard for me to understand those words, even though I was the one who uttered them.
We all meet perople, along the course of our lives, who are extraordinary. They inspire us. They motivate us. They give meaning to what we do. We strive to be like them, to think like them. We hope that someday someone can look at us in that same way. Meeting such people is a rarity and a blessing. Almost divine. But there is always a parallel opposite in life, I believe. In order to meet these people, we encounter others who are not so healthy for us. They may be able to fit certain pieces of our puzzle, but they don’t complete it. They may remind us of our father or mother, siblings or even ex-boyfriends/girlfriends. We may not realize right away that these should be temporary relationships. Sometimes events take place that make it easy for us to realize it, more often it takes a while to see the forest from the trees.
It’s a struggle to be brave and make yourself vulnerable to new people and new friendships. The biggest risk is not taking any risk at all. I commend those of you who take that risk and get hurt along the way. It speaks volumes when I meet people who see something beyond my exterior and give me a chance. It reminds me that even though we all get burned from time to time, it’s worth it if you unexpectedly meet that person who suprises you. Remembering the opposite parallel, I also have to remind myself to walk away from those people who are not going to give anything back.
