About five months ago a patient came to me for a routine checkup. She told me that her boyfriend found out that he had gonorrhea two weeks ago and was treated for it. “Is there any way you can check and see if I have it?” I asked all the appropriate questions, she wasn’t having any symptoms of gonorrhea or any other sexually transmitted diseases. She did not have a history of sexually transmitted diseases in the past. I hesitated, but asked, “Has he been promiscuous outside of the relationship?” She told me, as far as she knew, that he hadn’t been. But I knew better.

At the end of the history taking and physical exam, I went over the plan with my patient. I asked her if she had any more questions. She asked, “So, is it possible to get gonorrhea any other way besides having sex?” Now, I’m a doctor, but I’m first a woman with a heart, and I wanted to reach out to my patient and give her a big hug. But I didn’t. In that moment, it was my responsibility to be her doctor. So I looked at her and said, “No, it isn’t.”

There comes in everyone’s life, moments when you have to step up to the plate. These moments are rare and spread out far between, but everyone has them. I’m talking about those moments when you have to do the right thing. When your friend is being wrongly accused of stealing and you know he didn’t do it. When someone you know is being sexually abused. When a child is being abused at home. It isn’t easy to do the right thing in these moments, but deep down you know the difference between ignoring it or taking action.

I seize these moments and keep them forever etched in my mind. I remember those people who stepped up for me and those who haven’t. The difference between those who do and don’t is strength of character and an undying spirit. I’ve come to realize that those who possess these two remarkable qualities are born with them and their environment fosters development. But, many are not born with it at all.

I’ve been struggling with certain people in my life who don’t possess these qualities. I realize that the continuation of our relationship was mostly my decision. I am the stronger one who carried it. But I now need people who can step up to the plate and not be afraid. I think about when I was harassed by a certain kid in high school and nobody did anything about it. Even my “best friend”. I think about when I was attacked by a friend’s father, who decided to pretend that it never happened, along with the rest of his family. These are the moments that forever haunt me.

In that moment, when my patient asked me about gonorrhea, I needed to give her the plain truth. Because I care. There are enough people you will run into who will run for cover when there’s a thunderstorm, but keep the ones that hold the umbrella over you when it’s pouring rain.