Monthly Archives: July 2009

Jul27

I just texted to say “I love you”

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I just texted to say “I love you”

soma texting

 We live in a world where we can text, IM, poke, tweet and a myriad of other verbs, each other. A friend of mine took this picture of me while I was e-mailing a patient back. Twenty years ago, if someone had told me that this would be a form of communication, I would have said, “Get out of here!”

Like everything else in life, technology comes with the good and bad. The good: fast, easy communication. The world has definitely become smaller and the old days when I remember my parents shouting on the phone to their relative in India no longer exists. Sort of a flashback to the commercial Can you hear me now? The bad: What happened to the days when we actually mailed a letter or called a friend just to shoot the breeze? I also hear disaster stories of people breaking up via e-mail, text and IM. Horrid.

Seeing this picture of me completely absorbed on a rectangular piece of technology amused and worried me at the same time. I don’t want to tell people I love them by texting them, I don’t want to necessarily be accessible 24 hours/7 days a week, simply because technology allows it.  Ahhh…the ambivalence of it all.

Jul18

Stars and Scooby Doo

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Stars and Scooby Doo

Who says just because I’m an internist that I have stick to boring crepe exam table paper and plain BandAids? I ordered pediatric exam table paper with fabulous stars and ordered 20 boxes of Scooby Doo bandaids. I had a choice of SpongeBob and Barbie, but I thought ”Ruh roh, my male and female patients might appreciate the neutrality of Scooby Doo…”

Rooby -Rooby-Roo!

Jul16

The child within

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The child within

Today my medical assistant’s 2 year old daughter came to work. Adri is a beautiful little girl with chocolate brown eyes and long, thick eyelashes. When she smiles it brightens up any room, and lightens up every heart. She kept my patients entertained throughout the day and kept me entertained as well. “Doc!” she would exclaim, when she wanted my attention. When I gave her a hug, she took her two little fingers and poked my dimples. I was in love.

Adri has a little monkey that she calls “Baby”. I took Baby and pretended that I was going to take him home with me. “I’m going to take Baby to the park, I’m going to bathe him, feed him, take him out for ice cream…” Adri would smile and was smart enough to know that this was a game and would say “Nooooooo” and laugh every time. I tripped on her pink doctor playkit and Adri immediately said, “Careful Doc!” So cute! She was fascinated with my centrifuge and would call me everytime the machine turned off automatically. “Doc, it’s broken!” :)

I love children. They’re the most innocent, truthful beings in this world. Their little hands and eyes fascinate me as they explore the world. Their hunger for knowledge, “Why Mommy, Why?”, their expressions and their little hearts. I sometimes wonder why I didn’t become a pediatrician, but I already know the answer. I couldn’t bear a death of a patient that is a child. It’s hard enough with adults.

 Today I had my audit session with Morningside Writers and my esssay Singular Break was critiqued. This piece may be part of a memoir. One of the group members thought that the protagonist (me) came across as cocky and not-so-nice. I didn’t take it personally, since I could understand where he was coming from, but on the other hand, I thought, if he only knew about my childhood and how I grew up as a child, he would understand that I come from humble beginnings. But his words made me realize the goal of my book and other essays. The who I am now is no different than when I was a child and I hope to reflect that in my writings. As an adult, it may be masked by defenses such as cockiness and swagger, but I still have a child’s heart and imagination. I have my mother to thank for creativity, imagination and artistic expression and I have my father to thank for heart.

Jul9

amongst a sea of moonlit yellow daffodils

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amongst a sea of moonlit yellow daffodils

sadness
you crept up on me
amongst a sea of moonlit yellow daffodils

i became silent
and others noticed
wondering why?

what is behind this sad face?
this face that hides all
and no one knows about the tears

you cause me to ache
my heart beats painfully
my heart rhythm is melodious
melancholy
but it wants the harmony
from years before

sadness
you crept up on me
amongst a sea of moonlit yellow daffodils

Jul8

I opened the door…

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I opened the door…

Today, I walked into a near empty office. I opened my door slowly, bracing for what the paint job would look like. It was beautiful. Aleyda and I decided on a lighter shade of yellow for the office, and I went to Home Depot and picked a shade called Moonlit Yellow. It was exactly how I imagined. Not too many people would automatically pick yellow for the office, but I think it goes so well.

I locked the door, and I did a dance in my empty office to commemorate the occasion.  Don’t ask me why, but when I am feeling momentous, The Sound of Music always comes to mind.  I imagined myself as Julie Andrews, surrounded by Moonlit Yellow daffodils, on a hilltop singing, “The hills are alive….with the Sound of Music!”  It came complete with the twirl, if you are wondering.

I walked over to the two exam rooms and looked out the windows. Our office faces north so I could see the traffic flowing on 23rd St. and the Flatiron Building adjacent to me. I opened my own office door and the color Shrimp Toast greeted me. Trust me when I say that I’m not a girly girl, but I’ve always wanted a salmon pink room since I was a child. Now I have it!

Jul8

The Facebook Poke War

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The Facebook Poke War

When it comes to me and my sister, I am definitely the more competitive one. Growing up together, if she had one scoop of ice cream, I had to have two. If she had two lollipops, I had to have three. We were never competitive about boys, and we love each other fiercely, but when it comes to the silly things in life, I feel that I have to top one over my sister. Recently, this has manifested as an all-out Facebook Poke War. Everyday, we poke each other. Sometimes we poke each other twice. Each has declared that we will “poke” the other one out.

Here are some actual Facebook postings about the pokings:

Soma’s Post: Little sisters can definitely be dangerous and take away your Wimbledon title. (Referring to Serena William’s win over sister Venus).

Soma at 10:45 AM July 4: But I WILL have the last poke!

Shreya at 10:00 AM July 5 OH NO YOU WON’T! I POKE YOU INFINITY CUBED!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH! and yes, be very very scared…

Soma at 10:09 AM July5 I will get Zia on my side and together we will make a big poker and poke you out of this universe!

Shreya at 10:11 AM July 5 First of all, it is a bit pathetic that you need someone else to poke me out of the world with you. Also, I already beat you to the punch since “INFINITY” has all that territory covered :P

Soma at 10:15 AM July 5 Oh you think you’re so smart with the infinity trump. It’s so old world physics. I’m going to ace you with my string theory poke. MU HUAHUAHUAHUA!

Shreya at 10:16 AM July 5 I’m shaking in my boots!

Jul7

If you build it, they will come…

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If you build it, they will come…

I’m still in the process of setting up my new office. Painting, getting exam tables and furniture delivered, to name a few things.

Patients I don’t even know yet have called me to tell me they “just dropped by” because they wanted to see me. One left a message, “Oh and by the way, you have a lovely new space. But I realized that you weren’t there yet because it’s completely empty!” I chuckled when I heard this and then recalled my first office, a dingy room I rented from an eccentric chiropractor who drove me nuts. My first day there, I had one scheduled patient, and I twiddled my thumbs for the remainder of the day.

My sister had told me back then, that at some point, things will be very different. And here it is.

I have my struggles, as does everyone in life, and there are a few things I wish I could have in my life. But I am blessed.

Jul1

Gowns and drape sheets flying down Fifth Avenue

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Gowns and drape sheets flying down Fifth Avenue

As I finished my last day at my Fifth Avenue office, I moved the few remaining items out of my office. I parked my car across the street and rushed to get my computer, ekg machine, gowns, drape sheets and remaining lab supplies into the car. I carted things down and a gust of air suddenly blew all my papers gowns and drape sheets all over Fifth Avenue. It was an amazing sight! Imagine a whirlwind of blue and white!

I realized the depth of New Yorkers when I watched strangers scurrying around to capture the gowns and sheets, even when I kept shouting that it didn’t really matter. What I was really scared about that a cop would arrest me for littering and I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could. I frantically emptied the cart into my car, and hurried around trying to pick up whatever I could.

Certainly moving is such a stressful moment, but I can honestly say that it has been filled with laughter as well. Sure, it’s been difficult to coordinate patient care during the move. My threshold has been lowered and it’s been hard to deal with complaining patients, but I’ve also been rewarded by great patients who have been very supportive during the move. I’ve  been blessed with a great medical assistant who is my right arm.

As I loaded the last load, I noticed I had ten minutes to spare. My municipal parking ticket was valid until 4:50 PM. I sat in the car, rested my head back and just took a deep breath. Suddenly the rain started, and I was reveling in the pellets of rain that were hitting the car, which acted as an impenetrable shield. I was surrounded by my computer, ekg machine, printer, centrifuge,  and disassembled cart. But I had escaped the rain.

I drove towards the Holland Tunnel, in no particular rush to get home, even though I had hit rush hour traffic. My job was done for the day. Tomorrow is another day.